Tag Archives: spirituality

Could LOVE be the cure for Narcissism?

https://pablo.buffer.com/

If you have an ego, you are a narcissist.  Healthy narcissism helps us create a sense of self and belonging imperative in navigating this earthly experience.  Just like childhood diseases help build our immune system, healthy narcissism protects our self-worth by building immunity to the judgements the world throws at us that might otherwise bury us.  

When does healthy narcissism cease to be healthy?  When one becomes so self-absorbed they cannot see or understand the needs of others.  The whole world revolves around their wants and needs.  Or, one becomes so tired and defeated from trying to prove their worth, they retreat from the world; shut down and sink into depression.

How does this happen?  Innocently, most of the time.  What we believe about how the world operates and what love looks like happens before we are six.  Most parents, teachers, authority figures have a very pure intention of bolstering self-esteem in children to help them succeed.  And, can unwittingly foster a false belief that their actions can make them more lovable or unlovable.  Obviously, this doesn’t happen to every child and I’m not sure we understand why some develop problems and others don’t. 

I do know that we all have a journey and what we came to experience, we will.  So, on a “Higher Level” everything in our life is working for our Good and leading us to our Truth (Love) even if we do not see it for long time, if ever in this lifetime.

On a third dimensional level however (the world level), the child may come to believe that he or she is only lovable if they are doing the right thing and that there may even be a limit to love.  The child may grow to believe that are totally unlovable.  They may be unable to give or receive love.   They may come to believe  they can never do anything right enough or good enough to deserve love.

When we form our belief systems (as a child), we defend them with our very life.  We create our life circumstances to prove we are right.  “I must be unlovable, people always leave me.”  “See, he left…I don’t deserve to be loved.” “I cannot do anything right because,  I’m not good enough. I might as well quit trying.”  Or, one may over-compensate to hide their perceived sense of unworthiness with an inflated ego…everything revolves around them.

In extreme cases it is easy to see this scenario taking place.  For instance, a parent may even disown a child for not living up to their standards.  But, most of the time we are just doing the best we can with our children  with what we’ve be taught based on our  own experience as children.  Most of us never knowingly hurt any of our children and there is no question that we love them unconditionally.

So what do we do now if we recognize that we unwittingly gave our children the wrong impression of what love is?  Or, we are living with or in close proximity to a full blown narcissist that is creating chaos?

It’s simple.  I’m reminded of an Einstein quote, “If the answer is simple, God is speaking”. Our perceived problems and all the solutions exist side by side; together (in wholeness).  For every cause there is already an effect.  For every question there is already an answer. 

If the narcissistic behavior is based on the perception that love is conditional then unconditional love must be the answer.  

Someone I’ve been working with gave me the perfect opportunity to put this simple solution to the test.  As a recovering  narcissist herself, she is struggling to live with one.  YAAS! There is a cure.   Keep in mind, simple does not necessarily mean “easy”.    

Her questions now, “What is my part in this relationship?” “ How can I remain peaceful when he is constantly worrying , needling and criticizing?” “ How can I help him and is it even my job?” 

All good questions.  Sometimes, we receive  from a relationship what we came for ( the purpose has been served) and it is time to leave.  I’m reminding of slalom water skiing.  I know  when the ride is over.  If I hang on past that, it’s going to hurt.    Not all relationships are meant to last forever.  Some are very brief but the shift in us they create last a lifetime.

For “Highest Best” we are always attracting what we need for Spiritual Growth.  The Law of Attraction makes sure this happens (like energy attracts like energy).

In the dysfunctional relationship we are always mirroring  “untruths” for each other that are running in the background (subconscious).  These relationships continue until the “untruths” are brought into the light of consciousness .  This can be a long, painful cycle.

 Unconditional love is the mirror that allows others to see themselves “truly” AS LOVE – creating a shortcut.

In answer to her questions Spirit said, “ Try this.” Lead with love.  Let love be LOUDER (Meredith Whitney).  

  •  Don’t engage in unloving behavior.   It takes two to tango.  Just say I LOVE YOU a lot with meaning!  “Have I told you lately that I love you?  I do.”
  • When he says things you don’t agree with or is not true, say “That’s an interesting perspective” (one of my mentor’s favorites).   This statement does not push or pull.  It is neutral.  It has no charge.   (If you can’t remain neutral, that is YOUR SIGN  to go within and find the sore spot (the untruth) that he is rubbing against.)
  • Ask innocent questions like a curious child without judgment (no opinion).  This will allow him to question himself without judgment.   Judgment buries Truth.  It is what buried him and you to begin with.
  • Don’t point out his perceived faults or errors.  He knows what they are.  Calling attention  to them holds him in a cycle of self-judgement.  JUDGMENT BURIES TRUTH.  Simply allow him to learn from the Universal Law of “Cause and Effect” (our natural way of learning).

 Our thoughts and actions are the cause and our happiness, discomfort or dis-ease is the effect.  Born of Source Creator, it is our journey and mission to uncover the creator within so we can become  “conscious creators”.

The experiment has begun and I invite you to participate along with us.  If you have a narcissist front and center in your life, I challenge you to Lead with Love…LET LOVE BE LOUDER and see what happens.

I would love to hear! Email me Gail@foodrevelation.com

Here’s to your Peace, Joy, LOVE and Abundant Health!

Gail

The Power of the Creative Moment

“We are in the “Presence” of our Creator (God if you will)
when we are in the creative moment”.
 


I experienced this in a most real way this weekend and yesterday as I worked in the kitchen training two new chefs so I can expand myself and stay focused on the healing work that is mine to do and the books that are mine to publish.

I’ve learned there is “Nothing for Nothing”.  There is Good to be uncovered in all things. Situations that seem most inconvenient can lead us into massive, mind-bending revelations if we remain open to them.    

What was the inconvenience?  My air conditioner went out this last Friday evening .   Terrible timing!   Not only are we in the “Dog Days” of summer in Texas, my son (an A/C guru) had just left town.  “After hours and weekend services” (emergencies) are super expensive.    I knew my son would be back on Sunday evening and I was willing to wait it out.

However, leaving for cooler shelter was not an option…I was committed to training these chefs Saturday, Sunday and Monday.  I needed them trained this weekend for chef services already committed to.  I texted them and explained the situation, telling them I would totally understand if they wanted to re-schedule.  One said “no problem”.  She has owned several restaurants and is used to hot kitchens.   “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen”…right?   Things shifted with the other and she ended up coming on Monday (I thought the A/C would be fixed by then).   As it happened I ended up not cooking on Saturday. It was late Monday night before the air-conditioning was up and running.

Over the course of the day on Monday all three  of us experienced the same “ah ha”.  When we were focused on the cooking; totally engaged in creativity, we were completely unaware of the heat.  We started at 92 degrees and ended at 97. (Saturday was not so bad.  The house had not had enough time to really heat up.)

We noticed at one point none of us had broken a sweat!  As soon as we brought our focus back into our surroundings we begin to notice the heat.  It was only then that we became uncomfortable and wet. 

What could have been a miserable experience, became a pleasant and even at times a joyful and fun one, full of awe and wonder as we became aware of this phenomenon. 

What became so clear to us through this experience?  What we focus on becomes our reality.  This is Quantum Physics in a nutshell.    And, the world disappears as we come into the Creative Presence.

“There is a way to be in the world and not of it”.  This is the way.   We are spirit having a human experience.  We are in a body, but what the body experiences does not define us or change who we truly are.  

“Nothing we could ever think, say or do will ever change what is True”.

When we are in our creative, infinite, undefinable state of being, we are living our True Nature as timeless spirit.

I challenge you today to prove this to yourself.   Our faith is reinforced through experience.   Change you focus, or as a client so eloquently said the other day, “Take a Shift!”   Shift the focus of your thoughts and see what happens.    Take note of what happens when you are in “creative mode”.  Bear witness to how the world disappears and with it any discomfort as you come fully into the present moment. 

I would love to hear about your “Creative Moment” experiences with this experiment.  Email me…gail@foodrevelation.com

Here’s to your Peace, Joy, LOVE and Abundant Health!

P.S.  Stay tuned for “Could Mindfulness be the Cure for Forgetfulness”.

God’s Birthing Place

 

 

I awoke this morning feeling heavy with uncertainty.  So uncomfortable with the unknown.  Wondering what is next.  This new empty space feels so unfamiliar…even foreign – So BIG.

I find myself wanting to fill the void with something, anything.  I find myself judging the void stillness makes.

I feel my body constrict and then tears of release, a letting go flow.  I breathe deep and feel this nothingness expand around me.

I’m reminded this is the space I created with my willingness to let go of the old and make room for the new.  The expansiveness I feel is the fruit of my labor.   My heart is full of gratitude and my mind is open.  I whisper a thank you…

In this space are my dreams, my desires.  I can see them.   I can feel them on the inhale, just waiting to be exhaled.

And, then I am startled by this thought that arrives on its own from a place now familiar.  This nothingness, this space is where God creates.  It is God’s Birthing Place…..

The Comfort of Fall

The Comfort of Fall

Fall has arrived!  I was going to say fall is my favorite time of year.  And, then a small voice said, “No it isn’t”.   I realize I’ve come to appreciate every season equally.

The wind feels different in the fall, don’t you think?  It has a heavier, soothing, caressing texture, like a favorite blanket.

The fall’s light falls on my body differently – not as intense.  I can easily and with comfort turn my face into it, soaking up the rays that nourish my body and spirit.

Autumn is comfortable.  The colors comfort.  The air is comfortable.  It invites a comfortable pace – a slowing down.   All of nature sighs….Ahhhhhh.

In these times of stress and chaos unfolding around us, fall reminds us to take a deep, luscious breath.  It reminds us to take time to get out of our mind and perceive with the senses all the beauty, abundance and peace surrounding us.  It reminds us to take time to soothe our wounds.

Bring into your being the peace this season is bringing. Take a breath with nature.  Soak it in.  Let it fortify and strengthen you.  Let it heal you.

Be good to yourself.  The best thing you can do for the world right now is take good care of yourself.  You cannot give away what you do not have; and what you have you are giving to the world either consciously or unconsiously.

Fall brings comfort in many ways.  Can you say “Comfort Food”?  I’m making one of my favorite fall recipes today and I thought of you.  I hope you enjoy this as much as I’m going to.

May you find comfort and peace in all seasons of life,

Chef Gail


Comfort Stew

2 tablespoon  Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 tablespoon butter (or more olive oil for vegan version)
2 leeks, clean and chopped with a little of the green part
2 shallots, minced
1 cup button or baby bella mushrooms, roughly chopped
1 teaspoon fresh chopped rosemary (or ½ tsp dried)
1 teaspoon fresh chopped tarragon (or ½ tsp dried)
3 tablespoon oat or rice flour
¼ cup dry white wine, optional (chardonnay is good)
1 ½ cup vegetable stock, give or talk (I love organic Better Than Bouillon concentrate in a jar)
¾ cup organic milk (So Delicious coconut milk beverage, unsweetened for vegan version)
2 tablespoon of nutritional yeast (optional for a richer broth and adds more protein)
2 dashes fresh grated nutmeg (or ground)
1 teaspoon sea salt and cracked pepper or to taste
1 bunch collard greens, chopped (boil or sauté until just tender and still bright green)
1 can black eyed peas, drained and rinsed
2 cups cubed butternut squash, prepared (sweet potatoes works well too)

Preheat large skillet over medium high (I love to use my huge iron skillet for this).  Add butter and oil and swirl to coat skillet.  Add mushrooms, shallots and leeks to hot skillet with a dash of sea salt.  Sauté for about 3 minutes then add herbs.  Stir frequently until leeks are translucent and mushrooms have released their moisture (5-7 minutes total).

Add flour to mixture stirring for a minute until well blended.  Deglaze pan with wine and simmer for a minute.  Add broth and bring to high simmer.  Gradually add milk stirring constantly until sauce is thickening.  Stir in nutritional yeast and nutmeg.  Add salt and pepper to taste.   Fold in collards. peas and sweet potatoes.

Serve with a rustic, crusty cornbread (recipe below), polenta or quinoa.

Classic Iron Skillet Cornbread
Gluten-free, Diabetic Friendly with Vegan Option

1 cup stoneground organic cornmeal
½ cup polenta (coarse ground grits)
½ cup oat flour (replace ¼ cup oat with ¼ cup tapioca flour for lighter texture)
¼ teaspoon xanthan gum, optional (Replaces gluten so the cornbread holds together better)
½ teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon sea salt
2 tablespoon pure maple syrup (or powdered Stevia for non-sugar version)
1 egg gently beaten (or egg replacer for vegan version)*
½ cup organic applesauce (unsweetened)
1 ½ cups more or less of buttermilk (or unsweetened, plant-based milk for vegan version)
Note:  If using plain milk add 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar to milk
1 tablespoon grass-fed butter (Earth Balance for vegan version)

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.   Place iron skillet** in oven while preheating and mixing together ingredients.

In large bowl mix together dry ingredients.  In another bowl, whisk together all wet ingredients. Add wet ingredients to dry, mixing until just blended.  Do not over mix or you will have flat bread.  Batter should be very thick but pourable.

Add butter to hot skillet and tilt to evenly coat the bottom and sides. Pour batter evenly into skillet.  Place skillet on center rack in oven and bake for about 35 minutes or until golden on top and a toothpick comes out clean.  Allow to cool for about 10 minutes before cutting.  (Remove bread from iron skillet before cutting!).

*Vegan Version Egg Replacer; 2 tablespoon ground flaxseed mixed with 4 tablespoon water.  Let stand for a few minutes until thickened.

**Note:  You can use a muffin tin, glass or metal pan for this recipe.  However; a good iron skillet is an excellent source of iron for a plant-based diet.  When it is well seasoned it is virtually “non-stick” and a joy to cook with.



photo credit/Karen Guthrie

Curious if a Food IS Talking Intuitive Food Compatibility
Session with The Intuitive Chef can help you?  Schedule a “No Charge” 15 minute exploratory session here: https://www.foodrevelation.com/schedule/


Gail’s “Intuitive Chef” journey began unfolding in 2009 as a plant-based chef.  foodRevelation.com, birthed in 2011 was the natural result of following her creative passion – recipe creation and cooking.

Shortly thereafter, she experienced a “spiritual awakening” and discovered her intuitive and spiritual gifts.  As a food and medical intuitive, she has helped hundreds all over the U.S. and Canada remember their God-given health and in-born intuition through private sessions, private and public cooking classes and workshops.

Many revelations have been revealed along the way.  Her latest book, “Quinoa Cookbook Journey” (see link below) is the first book in a series entitled “Evolution of FREE Health”. It provides a gentle and tasty glimpse into these revelations and the resulting experiences.  Being revealed next in this series is, “The 7 Missing Links to Abundant Health”.

Gail currently lives in a small town in North Texas with her furry friends Molly and Mo.  In addition to the joy of cooking and recipe creation, she finds great pleasure in long leisurely meals with family and friends, reading, writing; quiet walks in nature and sleeping under the stars.

https://www.foodrevelation.com/the-quinoa-cookbook/

For more about Intuitive Chef Gail – https://www.foodrevelation.com/about/